Made In The U.S.A.

Crest: The only toothpaste for decent human beings.

In Adventures on March 15, 2009 at 12:14 am

I keep picking up bananas at the grocery store and making it halfway down the aisle before I remember: Chiquita bananas do not come from America. (And if you’re gonna tell me your grocery store stocks some other brand besides Chiquita… I demand proof.) Tonight’s batch was, I believe, from Ecuador.

Ditto shrimp. Although with them I remember to check the bag before I get them back to the cart. Every time I find an origin, it’s Thailand. Apparently shrimp are popular there. And here, from there. I guess I’d have to go to the fresh seafood case and look for Gulf shrimp. Probably not the inexpensive $6 per pound like the ones flown halfway around the world. That still doesn’t make sense.

And even though every time I hit the veggie department I go straight for the avocados and they’re always, ALWAYS, imported from Mexico, I will do the same thing the next time I’m in the grocery store. And the time after that. All the while, I’ll be thinking that I should shop at a different grocery store.

Tonight’s real shock of shocks, however, was in the form of toothpaste. After having a run of good luck with my preferred deoderant, shaving cream, laundry detergent, bleach and milk, I did a 180 back to the toothpaste aisle to return the sale Colgate I picked up. I scoured and scoured the box, but didn’t see it at first. Then, almost as an afterthought, it jumped out at me from the bottom right corner on the back side: Made In Mexico. Damn, Colgate. How you gonna play me like that?

So instead of $2 Colgate I bought $3 Crest. There are so many damn kinds of toothpaste out there, I never know what kind to buy. I guess now I know to buy Crest. But which Crest should I buy? Tarter, Whitening, Breath, Nighttime, Organic, Baking Soda, Gel, Paste, taco flavored…

So now I use Crest. If I can remember that I use Crest, that is.


  1. mmmm, Tacos.
    I think Trader Joes has Vanilla flavor… I have it on good authority, This goes well with coffee in the morning. Also unsure if it’s made in the us. I’ll check it out.

  2. Tom’s of Maine toothpastes are all made in USA, too, and there are fun, weird flavors like fennel and cinnamon. Plus they don’t test their products on animals (a rarity in toothpaste testing, apparently).

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